The jumbled bits and pieces of my mind
by raven-heights
Summary: Rift activity turns dangerous, can anybody help Ianto? May contain very mild slash, but not till further chapters
1. Chapter 1

This is my final version, but if you can see any mistakes please let me know, my beta has decided to go on holiday and miss college grrrrrr could kill him somtimes.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or shows or merchandise or royalties of said items etc.

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'_ttttttttttt' _– Thoughts

'wwwww' – Normal Speech

A whisper along the skin sent Ianto's heartbeat sky rocketing upwards, Ianto quickly turned around staring into the pitch black room, no signs of movement or even the whisper that haunts him in dark, wither he was asleep or awake wither it was day or night, Ianto didn't know no hint of anything in the ever eloping darkness, Ianto sighed his mind already starting to shut down emotionally, his routine was as simple as it got when he woke up from his sleep he would make sure he had all his body parts feeling them slowly tracing every vein, every scar and every line that was on his body, after he would sing 2 of his favourite nursery rhymes 'Baa Baa Black Sheep' and 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' he would sing each rhythm 10 times then the other ten times then the first one 10 times and over and over again till he had sung 100 times each, then he would map out every nook and cranny in the 4 walls that surrounded him, before falling onto his bed for some thinking, his body knew when he should stop thinking as he would need to go to the toilet (Bucket in the corner that when full would disappear without a noise or a sound) then Ianto would go to sleep or close his eyes and the process will begin again, to be repeated with such accuracy that can surpass an OCD sufferer. During Ianto's thinking time he would wonder back on his life and what choices he made that could have been changed and the endless possibilities of If's and Why's and sometimes only sometimes does Ianto sometimes think of Jack.

FLASHBACK – 4 days ago

'Ring Ring' 'Ring Ring' 'Ring Ring'

Ianto turned over to be nearer his bedside table, picking up his phone he groaned as it was work calling him up at god knows what hour, turning around again and saw it was 4am, Ianto groaned again '_what could they be calling me now, probably need some coffee but can't be bothered to make it'_ pressing the answer button and holding the speaker next to his ear,

"Ianto Jones speaking" he spoke before blindly grabbing for the lamp switch

"Ianto, could you come down here now" answered a rough voice

Ianto managed to turn on the light and blind himself within a second

"Yes Sir, I will be there in 10 minutes" Ianto answered back

The phone went dead, and Ianto closed the phone before flopping on his back in the middle of his bed an arm covering his eyes from the blinding artificial light, a groan made it to his throat, '_Must get up, must get up…….._'

9 minutes and 56 seconds later, Ianto was in the conference room, giving out the coffee to the zombie like creatures formally known as Owen, Toshiko and Gwen.

"Right I'll make this quick, there has been rift activity nearby and its reading some unusual signals from within it" Jack quickly reported

"You mean to tell me, that you woke us up at 4 in the fucking morning to tell us that there has been some rift activity and you couldn't wait until fucking 7am to tell us" Owen near all but shouted, the coffee giving a buzz to the system to wake up, Gwen and Toshiko were nodding, Ianto stood by the door, hands in pocket looking at jacks face, '_it was something bigger then normal rift activity_, _something that jack isn't sure about' _Ianto eyes widened a fraction '_He's afraid of what is in that rift_' He could still hear Owen in the back talking about how unfair it was, being backed up by Gwen and Toshiko.

"Shut up" Ianto quietly said, but it was enough to cause Owen to look at him as well as everybody else,

"What….."

"I Said SHUT UP"

Ianto hissed, Ianto looked towards Jack something in his face made his own stomach queasy

"There's more, there's something you're not telling us"

Jack looked down then back into the eyes of every member lingering on Ianto's before sighing

"The reason why I called you all here is that there is something on the other side of the rift that was supposed to have been destroyed, the whole dark planet, the people, their whole way of life are wiped out from time, and we have to find someway to close the rift or to make sure nothing escapes in or out of that rift" Jack said in a low voice his hand rubbing his neck as if a nervous habit had just been discovered.

Ianto sighed as Owen went off on one talking about how they can't shut the rift down just like that and why was it so dangerous etc, Ianto just tuned Owen out after a while, in favour of staring out of the conference room watching Myfanwy soar and dive in the hub, never once losing concentration never once slipping never once falling, Ianto wondered what it was like to have absolute freedom to do anything you want, anytime you want, Ianto turned away from Myfanwy and looked back inside the conference room, Gwen was now shouting at Jack, apparently he interrupted something special between her and Rhys.

Something clicked in the back of his mind '_A whole species' wiped out from time with any reference or cultural aspects being wiped out, something in the darkness, calling him whispering to him in his dreams_'A sharp shake of his head Ianto knew exactly what the planet it was and why they had to stop this rift opening further.

"No it can't be, they can't be here, doctor was suppose to have taken care of it and destroy its timeline" Jack glanced up sharply, looking strangely at him,

Ianto stared straight ahead his eyes unfocused, his mind already gone back to Torchwood One and before the "ghosts", travelling back to when there was a tear in the timeline in the basement of the building,

"Ianto, Ianto"

A voice called him from the deep, a voice that synchronised with the way the wind moved, the earth grew and the waters flowing, a voice that promised pain but comfort, death but life, harmony yet turmoil,

Suddenly Ianto was shaken away from his musing, by a hand on his shoulder. Slowly Ianto started to blink and eyes focused he was sitting in a chair Gwen, Toshiko and even Owen had some worry in their eyes for him. He could still feel Jack's hand on his shoulder, Ianto breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth, calming down, he looked at Jack's face and let out a small smile

"I've heard of this planet before when I was at Torchwood One"

The others eagerly leaned in looking forward to a tell, Jack had moved his hand off Ianto's shoulder by then and was staring out the conference room windows, his shoulders drawn tight in tension, a far away look in his eyes. Ianto turned back to look at the others before sighing then starting the tale that had never been heard outside his own team in Torchwood One,

"There was a rift open in Torchwood One basements, Yvonne found out about it and my team back then were in charge of weapons and removal of alien artefacts"

Ianto told them in a whisper, the others had a mixture of emotions running on their face but none stayed long enough to pick out a define moment, Ianto closed his eyes as he started to recite again

"This was before the battle of Canary Wharf, me and my 12 man team, went down into the basement, the tear was beautiful, and something that took everybody's breath away"

A ghost of a smile appear before disappearing

"No one knew of what was behind it, but what Yvonne wanted was more important, then a picture, but something was wrong about it, something that felt twisted and warped, but we battled on, soon after that Yvonne ordered us to go in and find anything to bring back, Yvonne by then was obsessive in getting alien weapons by force most of the time, so she ordered 5 of my team members to go in, we waited 1 hour for them before, somebody came back out, the youngest member of our team , he was pale, injuries all over his body"

Ianto shuddered hard, his face grimacing as if he was there reliving it

"He was mutilated beyond our repair, he died before we even got him on the first step out of the basement, and he kept whispering about the dark, and the screams then he was gone, Yvonne didn't care that we had lost 5 people but ordered 5 more people in including myself"

He scrunched his eyes closed but tears ran down the side of his face, the others were leaning in a bit closer, Toshiko was wiping some of the tears away, but more came down, his voice became a bit raspy as the story continued.

"We packed up our stuff, and decided to go in, we all had our weapons trained in front of us, but nothing could have prepared us for what was in there, I went first as the leader, its was horrific the screams of anguish and pain were loud and incoherent, the smell of blood and lost hope was all around me, I couldn't breath, I opened my eyes, but there was nothing no movement no signs of disturbance, not even any light, just the screams, then something grabbed at me, I tried to escape but it's hold was tight, and then memories that weren't mine were in my head, nothing could stop the smell of blood, the taste of fear that was so intoxicating, that's when I could properly see in the darkness, they were like us, they were alien yet human at the same time, the hold slackened but I could still not escape my mind trapped inside, then they began to feed, biting scratching, eating my flesh, I could hear the screams of my comrades, I couldn't reach out to them but something happened a flash of light so bright that my eyeballs burned inside, then I was being pushed back through the tear, the hold that was on me slacked but not before I saw the doctor take it out, the humans/ aliens were screeching and I knew then that I would have to survive this, I grabbed a few of my comrades that were still alive, and pushed us all through the rift, back to Yvonne, I'm the only one that mentally survived the onslaught, the rift closed itself back up, but it meant nothing my comrades were nothing more then shells, their souls broken"

Ianto finished his tale, and began to cry in earnest, not a sound was made around the table, Gwen was trying not to be sick, Owen was scared and worried, and Toshiko was holding onto Ianto tightly, a look of pain on her face, but jack was the worst one he was leaning on the glass his face set in stone but eyes that spoke of so much hurt and anguish that not even the weevil could stand,

"Bu….But how can you be sure that it is that planet?" Owen stumbled out

"Because I could see them when I was on the planet, they gave me some of their knowledge, some of their abilities and some of that darkness that they had lived in, I can feel the darkness calling me back home, calling me back to revel in enclosing black"

Ianto spoke in a calm voice never wavering, never stumbled, just honest facts. Ianto had realised halfway through the story that the darkness was calling out to him, through his dreams and his heart. The others looked at him sharply, even Jack stood up from leaning against the glass window, to grab Ianto by the chin and force him to look into his eyes, Ianto knew the second that jack could sense it in him bubbling underneath the surface, just waiting for its chance to come out and revel in the freedom of eating in the dark, Ianto eyes flashed black

"You were there; you were at that planet with the doctor"

"Yes, and you shouldn't have been left alive, they take their prey, they do not set it free" Jack growled back

"They knew they were going to die, so they left me till they could pick me up, I know from the whispers of what they will do to me" Ianto looked down at the table tears splashing the table "I don't want to go, I don't belong in darkness" Ianto looked sharply up at jack

"Don't let them take me, please, I beg of you, don't let them take me"

Jack rushed forward again, taking Ianto in his arms letting him cry on his shoulder,

"I will not let them take you, not now not ever" Jack whispered convincingly into his ear.

END OF FLASHBACK

Ianto sighed, wishing it was true, but his body was letting him know it was time to go to the toilet then to sleep, and who was Ianto to argue with his body's timetable. Ianto drifted off to sleep in the north corner, with the whispers in his heart.

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well this is the end of 4 pages, please review, no flames please.

till next time...ta ta.


	2. Soul Tearing

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or shows or merchandise or royalties of said items etc

AUTHORS WARNING: Mild innuendo, mild reference to sex, very mild slash.

Authors note: This is set halfway into the second series.

'_Ttttttttttt' _– Thought

"Wwww" – Normal Speech

'Aaaaaaa' – Alien Speech

_'Aaaaaaa'_ – Alien thought

FFFFFFF – Flashback

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**FLASHBACK – 2 days ago**

The hub was deserted when Ianto got in the next morning, everybody enjoying the small chance of sleep before the new onslaught of problems that will enviable be the down turn of Torchwood, Ianto sighed ready to start work as normal, feed Myfanwy, make the coffee, tidy up after them and wake Jack up, the strain of it all were taking its toll on him _'they properly wouldn't even notice if I disappeared'_ This was the continuous thought in Ianto's head, he could feel himself losing against the blackness, every time that he went into the sub levels of Torchwood he could feel something watching him, whispering to him and on rare occasions he could feel a ghostly hand stroking his hair or even his back, and they never relented never faded away even when Ianto called out for them to stop to go away, they were there always asking the same thing _'Join us, our saviour and revel in enclosing black'_ Ianto wasn't they type of person to get scared after all he reasoned with himself that he had to face the cybermen and hunt weevils, he has seen some gruesome occurrences, done some horrid things, but nothing got under his skin, but another voice in his head whispered _'Except the never-ending darkness'_ Ianto shivered unconsciously in the middle of the hub before heading off to wake Jack up.

After climbing down in Jack's sleeping quarters, making as much as noise possible Jack was still asleep, the sheet barely covering his body, his face peaceful and a slight snoring can be heard from the man. Ianto laughed and set about trying to wake Jack up, after the 10th alarm clock was smashed it was better for Jack and Torchwood's expense account that as Ianto got in early to feed Myfanwy then he could wake Jack up, well in theory it was brilliant but in practise then it didn't work so well, hitting him in the face Ianto thought _'There has got to be a better way then this'_ then an idea formed and like a seed it started to grow, Ianto whispered next to Jacks ear

"I never knew that Toshiko knew how to do that" Jack started to stir

"Honestly who would have thought that she could use that as a toy, wonder how she made it malleable to twist that way" he could hear Jack's breathing getting more rapid, his heartbeat was getting faster,

"Whoa I didn't know that Gwen could bend that way"

Ianto almost had time to smile before he was pushed off his feet and slammed into the ground and Jack tripping over him to get where the girls were, before Jack realised that there were no girls, Ianto started to laugh and laugh and laugh until tears were coming out of his eyes and in those absolute moments Ianto knew no fear, no shadows and no danger.

"IANTO" Jack bellowed not noticing the fact he had no clothes on, '_or maybe he did and wasn't ashamed' _Ianto thought

"Yes, sir" Ianto politely asked, knowing full way that Jack couldn't call him out on it, otherwise emitting some secrets

"Nothing, just bring me coffee" Jack ignored the mischief look in Ianto's eyes, and set about waking up. Ianto just nodded and moved away to get some and start on making more for Gwen, Owen and Toshiko

"Ianto" Jack called after his back

"Yes sir" Ianto didn't turn away, as he was on the middle of the ladder

"Could you have the conference set up as soon as everyone arrives?"

"Yes sir, they will be arriving in 10mins"

"Good" Ianto made no signs that he heard it, just moved up the ladder and went to set up the conference room

**10 minutes later **

Everybody was in the conference room, drinking the coffee and making some small talk, when Jack walked in and sat down, Ianto followed closely behind and sat down next to Toshiko answering her questions on his health and the nightmares, Ianto fought of her questions with a simple "I'm Fine" Ianto was about to ask Toshiko a question on her linguist program when Gwen cut across and asked

"So did you have a trouble waking up Jack this morning" Gwen said with her smirk

"Defiantly he just wouldn't wake up this morning, even after I punched him" Ianto replied with a small smile himself, Owen laughed and Toshiko looked a bit shocked

"How did you wake him up then" Owen replied in-between his laughs

"We don't need to go into that this moment, there is something I need to say" Jack urgently said, everybody looked at him and saw some red on his cheeks that suspiciously looked like blushing, everybody stifled laughs

"Well, you know Gwen and Toshiko were playing with that metal object, twisting it into different shapes and it fired a dart out of the end so Gwen had to bend in a position that was quite skilful" Ianto told

"Yes" Toshiko replied thinking about the incident

"Well let's just say I worded it differently, to suggest something else was happening instead" Ianto sat back with a smug smile, there was a moment of shock then Toshiko started laughing, who set off Owen then that got Ianto and Gwen laughing, Jack was looking embarrassed

"Have I got a sign on my back that says laugh at my expense" angrily said by Jack, before even he broke down and started to laugh as well. They stayed like that for a short time.

After a while Ianto couldn't help feel as if something was wrong even as he was laughing with tears streaming down his face, he couldn't help feeling that there was something gnawing in his head.

Ianto had to hold his head as a weight was bearing down on his eyes, his skull felt as if it was pushing against his brain, just as everything started to calm down, Jack started to speak

"The rift is showing some abnormal activity, Toshiko what did you find?" Jack turned towards Toshiko, eyes lingering on Ianto's silent hunched form, before connecting with Toshiko's eyes

"Well the rift activity shows that the place that Ianto and the Doctor went to, is slowly cropping up all over Cardiff, people hearing screams and the smell of darkness and fear were reported in to a number of police stations, and there have been reports of people going missing around where the rift has been opening, but this is the most interesting piece" Toshiko picked up the remote and put up CCTV footage of one of the rifts, everybody in the room could see a dark shape come out of the rift, then look up and everybody could feel that is was smiling at the CCTV camera, before the CCTV went out and became a fuzzy screen, everybody was in deep contemplation.

Ianto felt sure that he was suffocating, something was in him wanting to get out, beads of sweat were following down his face, it felt that he was losing the battle with the darkness, he could almost smell the screams, the biting and the scratching, he could see the fear, the darkness and death but worst still he could hear the rotting corpse's, the people who left alive to die like that, then ripped apart. Some part in his brain he could hear the Toshiko still speaking,

"There was something else" Toshiko looked faintly ill "The alien, person or what ever it is, left a message on the CCTV before the feed went out, I managed to isolate the sound from all the background noise by using…" "Tosh just tell us what it is already" Owen spoke irritably; everyone knew he had no patient for the techno stuff Tosh goes on about. Toshiko just picked up the remote and pushed a few buttons trying to not let her hurt face show,

"He shall join us, our saviour and revel in enclosing black" 

Then a scream was echoed around the room, a distantly inhuman scream, a scream of hundreds and hundreds of nails down a chalkboard, a scream of a soul tearing in half.

Toshiko stood up and scampered back from Ianto who by then had fallen to the floor convulsing, as well as Owen and Gwen, the only one to stand up and stay there was Jack, who after a second rushed forward with Gwen, Own and Toshiko

1 minute before

Ianto couldn't hold onto sanity longer, he could feel a chant of saviour in his head, but unable to comprehend it properly as he was trying to push it back. Just as Ianto had felt that he was wining then he heard the voice, the voice he heard in the corridors, at home and even in his head

"He shall join us, our saviour and revel in enclosing black"

Suddenly he could feel the darkness force forward; a scream was torn from his throat Ianto could feel himself losing. When it took over his body, Ianto could still feel and see but couldn't do anything, he could see Toshiko holding his legs, Owen holding his upper body, Gwen holding his head in her lap, and Jack peering into his eyes. Ianto could feel his mouth moving, trying to take back control Ianto got a pain like a thousand needles pressed into his skin before a voice was soothing him _'Be still and quiet, and you shan't come to harm, our saviour'_ this voice was like the same before a voice that synchronised with the way the wind moved, the earth grew and the waters flowing, a voice that promised pain but comfort, death but life, harmony yet turmoil. Ianto stopped struggling, biding his time before he could get the upper foot, he tuned back into what was happening on the outside,

"IANTO" shouted Jack, the look of fear was intoxicating to the darkness in Ianto that he started to laugh, hysterically but amused child-like

"Ianto is ours" Ianto felt his mouth move, felt his vocal cords work but he wasn't saying the words. Jack looked shocked of the way the voice sounded; Ianto thought that if he wasn't on the edge of dieing then this would have been funny. Ianto could feel the others staring at him in shock, dismay and a bit of fear that the darkness was soaking up like a sponge. '_Mmmmmmmmm, so tasty, so creamy, soft human flesh ready to be picked off the bone'_ the voice whispered in his head, sounding enticed by the meals in front.

"Ianto is ours, he is our team member, our family, our friend, release him" Jack spoke quietly, Gwen gasped

"Jack, he's eyes are black, completely black" Gwen spoke with an increasing frantic voice. Jack just nodded his head in acknowledgement.

"No he is ours, he has our soul, our blood and our thirst" the voice started out again, in its eerie clam yet turmoil voice. Jack grimaced

"Okay let's start on how you survived?" Jack spoke again

"We do not see any harm in telling, we knew we were going to die, so we selected some species that were strong enough, and implanted our memories into the chosen, after we were nearly wiped out by the Doctor, we called forth our chosen and harvested their minds to complete our planet and people again. The saviour is the last of them, we will take him and he will become our immortal saviour, our need for survival, he is ours. OUR Saviour" The voice spoke out again, the voice was hypnotising

"Will you let us have him back after you harvest his mind of the memories?" Jack asked casually, Ianto gasped inside his head, unable to believe what he said, he was letting him go off with the darkness, knowing he could be lost forever.

"Jack!" Gwen, Own, Toshiko said together shocked at what he was implying

"We will" The voice replied, Ianto felt the darkness smirking, but he was ready to cry, he didn't want to die _'Shhhhh, you won't die, we will not let our saviour die, you will enjoy our revel, you will enjoy flesh from different species, you will hunger for the taste of skin, gills, scales from species in the universe, you will become addicted to the smell of fear and lost hope, and the screams will be enough to bring you into a state of what your species call an orgasm'_ Ianto whimpered as he knew it was true

"I have 3 conditions, before I do anything. 1, you will tell me the name of your species. 2, you will assure me that you will not have contact with him ever again after you have given him back. 3, you will let me speak to Ianto" Jack quietly demanded.

"We accept your terms; we will not have any contact with our saviour after we have given him back. Our species are called 'упивайтесь темнотой'. We will let you talk to this body we are currently hosting" The voice slowly faded back; there was another scream, but this one sounded more human, a human on the edge of insanity.

"Ianto, Ianto" Jack quietly whispered, the others too shocked to even utter a word through out the process of Ianto coming back to them

"Jack" croaked a voice they all knew that it was immediately Ianto that was speaking

"Yea it's me Ianto, how do you feel?" Jack looked worried at him

"Like the time Owen made coffee" Ianto said with a small smile, the others laughed but it was a bit hysterical

"Jack, why are you going to let them take me, you said you wouldn't" Ianto called out sounding weaker, he could feel the darkness closing back in, eager to get him away from the others

"If there was a chance of saving you, I will do anything. You must understand they will let you come back, and we can have a talk, the one I always promise you but never have enough time for" Jack smiled watery, tears glistening in his eyes

"Please Jack; you don't understand they won't……" Ianto started before he started convulsing, and gritting his teeth together to stop from scream, the others put more pressure on his body to keep him still, he stopped after a minute but what seemed like hours to him

"I have to say goodbye, I can't keep them away any longer. Goodbye Toshiko, try and finish your program and feed Myfanwy. Owen, don't you dare touch the coffee machine and please feed the weevils. Gwen, please show them lot what's it like to live on the outside."

Another convulsion tore through his body '_It is time, you have to say goodbye, we are waiting for you, our saviour'_ Ianto sighed but returned to the conscious realm

"Jack, goodbye you will find out soon words are kept honourless"

Ianto reached up and touched Jack's chin, stroking it, before letting it fall to the floor again

"Don't cry for my sake, be happy" Ianto quietly whispered, seeing the tears sliding down the cheeks of every one of them.

Jack lent down and softly kissed his lips before leaning back up, Ianto smiled before allowing the darkness claim his body again, indefinitely.

"He has a strong mind, we chose well" The voice answered back, a smug hint in its voice "Will you let us up, we will transport ourselves to our home world" a hint of wistfulness in its voice.

Ianto could see Jack looking at his team, their looks of despair and even a small amount of fear, even Owen had the same look, before a small nod of the head was given, Ianto could feel their weight off his body, allowing the darkness to take control of the body and stand up.

"We will be going, we thank you for helping us with our saviour" said the voice before making Ianto's hands move in a complicated pattern so to make a black portal appear in the window, large enough for Ianto to go through. Just as the darkness took one step towards the portal a voice sounded out, _'Toshiko' _Ianto thought

"Why do you call him the saviour while you called the others chosen ones" Toshiko asked through the tears and Ianto could see the darkness reading the uncontrollable urge to sit down and cry until there was no more tears on her face.

"We will tell you, if only to watch your faces fall with fear and rage that is so intoxicating to us. He is our saviour as in his memories is the key to unlocking our primal instinct, the instinct to revel in the black, the urge to eat live flesh. He will make us whole again" The voice said in a laugh, Ianto thought the voice was right their faces were a mixture of fear, rage and sadness, he could sense the darkness ready to feed from them _'Please don't harm them, please. You have me you don't need them, I'm sure the others will be waiting for us'_ there was a moment of silence _'You are right, we are waiting for you, we will go now and we will join my brothers in revelling'_ The voice laughed out loud, a laugh that promised the giddy excitement of death and pain. The darkness closed around Ianto's mind pressing in _'Go to sleep, our saviour'_ having no choice but to obey them, Ianto lost the fight with conscious the moment his body stepped through the portal. Ianto thought one last thing, that seemed to echo in the minds of the others;

'_The Battle For My Soul Had Begun'_

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Sorry this has been so late, I've been ill and then my modem blows up, not a pretty sight!

It took me a bit to get their speicies name right, so I choose it from Russian!

Review please.

Ta Ta.


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